


Rewind button (Oumota)

by deokkakii



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventually it gets better, I cried while writing this, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kaito is trying, Kissing It Better, Multi, Oma Kokichi Needs a Hug, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad Oma Kokichi, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Therapy, extensive therapy, hardcore angst, healing process, i spent all my motivation on this book please like it, kaito needs therapy, kaito wants whats best for everyone, kaitos gonna help him like the good friend he is, oma really needs someone whos gonna actually help him, so does kokichi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-26 00:08:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30097242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deokkakii/pseuds/deokkakii
Summary: It was late at night and Ouma has just gone home from some friendly drinks with his good friends Kaede and Shuichi... yet...Ouma nor Kaito were expecting Ouma to be attacked and drugged and... well...And how is Ouma gonna ever pick himself up from this? Kaito says it'll get better but...will it really?
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Amami Rantaro, Momota Kaito/Oma Kokichi
Kudos: 32





	1. Wrecks and Hospitals

Kokichi Ouma, a 23 year old University student, Lawyer in training was good friends and roommates with Kaito Momota, 25 year old University student, Astronaut in training. Now, why is this important information? Well…

“Ouma are you ever gonna actually do your homework or are you just gonna slack off?” Kaito asked, turning in his chair to look at the smaller adult who was laying in his bed playing games on his phone…  
Ouma raised an eyebrow and rolled over to look at kaito..  
“Haven't i already told you? I'm super smart! Y'know I ace like all my tests, riiiiight?” ouma smiled smugly, kaito huffed  
“You should still stud---” he was cut off by oumas excited gasp and holding his hand out to quiet kaito  
“Oooh! Shuichis texting me, he's inviting me for drinks with kaede!” ouma smiled, and hopped off the bed..  
“Drinks? Isn't it kinda late for that?” kaito huffed..  
“Never too late to get drunk! You wanna come with and see ur boooooooooyfrieeend~?” ouma drew out that last part to which kaito blushed..  
“He's not my boyfriend ouma, and even if i wanted to i need to study, so no” he huffed…  
“Well, your loss” he smiled, trotting over to put some warmer clothes on and slip his shoes on- grabbing his keys and kaitos signature space jacket-  
“Hey! Where do you think you're going with my jacket?” kaito huffed, ouma pouted  
“Whaaat? It's cold out! Lemme use it!” he whined  
“Jesus.. Just dont fuck it up or else ill fuck you up” kaito scoffed  
“In your dreams homo-ta! Imma get going, see ya!” ouma smiled before quickly leaving, leaving kaito insulted..

After a long night with shuichi and kaede, it was getting late and they went their separate ways… ouma was a little tipsy but texted kaito he was on his way home like usual, stuffing his phone in the pockets of kaitos jacket… it was warm and smelled like kaito which always seemed to be a relaxing scent to ouma.. Besides, it's just a friend thing anyways.. And the perks of being kaitos' roommate is that like everything smells just like him! 

Ouma walked down the street when he was abruptly stopped by two much older looking men…  
They were trying to court him… 

“Um… what?” he hissed out a snarky remark…  
“What's a cutie like you doing out here so late at night?” one of the older men asked, placing a hand on Oumas shoulder to which he uncomfortable jerked back.  
“I'm on my way home, dipshit. You wanna move so i can get there?” Ouma hissed, the other grabbed his arm  
“Why don't you spend a little time with us first? We’ll make it worth your time” he hummed.. He reeked of booze.. They both did…  
Ouma tried tugging his arm away.  
“I'm fine, thanks” he huffed but they only held tighter, oumas stomach beginning to feel uneasy….  
“We don't take no for an answer. Lets go” the other hissed, to where oums blood ran cold and he quickly kicked the one holding him in the knee and tried to run-- to where he was tackled..  
“Stop!! Let go of me you asshole!!!” ouma screamed.. It was an empty street, almost nobody was around and all the shops were closed…  
“Stop struggling!” the other hissed, and before ouma knew it a needle was dug into his neck and he was out like a light..

“Fucking hell.. It's been like 3 hours.. Where is that asshole?” kaito huffed, staring at oumas text… he sighed, he tried calling but no answer, he was honestly getting worried… he decided to ring up shuichi…

“Ah… kaito..?” shuichi yawned.. “What is it? It's like 2 in the morning..” shuichi murmured tiredly…  
“Is ouma with you?” kaito asked…  
“Huh? Kokichi..? No, why?” he asked..  
“It's been like 3 hours since ouma texted me he was on his way, but he's not here and i'm getting worried” kaito sighed, bouncing his leg nervously..  
“Ah? We all went home around then.. Have you tried calling him?” shuichi asked sleepily…  
“I have, nothing..” kaito sighed…. Looking at the door…  
“That's.. Not good.. Do you think you should call the police? Go looking for him?” shuichi asked…  
Kaito sighed.. “Yeah, probably.. Thanks anyways shuichi”  
“O-of course, goodnight kaito”  
“Night” he sighed before hanging up.. He turned his phone off- standing up..  
“I should look fo---” kaito was interrupted by the sound of the doorknob jiggling and the door swinging open-- ouma stumbling in…  
“Kokichi! Where were y…” he stopped and stared at ouma.. He was a wreck. A shaking, sweaty, messy haired, crying wreck…  
“Dude! The hell happened, are you okay!?” kaito quickly rushed to oumas side as he dropped to his knees in a heap of tears… kaitos jacket wrapped tightly around him..

oumas breathing was erratic as he could barely form words--  
“R….rape...they..” ouma sobbed.. Shaking… those words rang in kaitos ears as ouma grew too weak to even hold the jacket around him, trying to savour whatever dignity he had left.. Shaking violently.. He fumbled to keep the jacket around him but it was too late…

Oumas body was covered in brutal markings, bites, bruises, hickeys, his skin red in many places where it seemed as if he was hit and--  
Of course, to make matters worse the cum that dirtied his poor thin body…  
“W-we need to get you to a hospital! Wh--who did this!?” kaito sputtered out, trying to help ouma up but all he could do was cry even harder…  
“St--stop! Don't touch me!” ouma screamed, sobbing uncontrollably..  
“O-ouma! Hey! Kokichi it's me! Kaito!” he huffed, gripping oumas shoulders and shaking him a little..  
“Look at me and tell me who did this--” kaito felt his heart shatter as ouma slumped against him, crying…  
“K..kaito i'm scared..” he sobbed…. Kaito grunted… he lowered his voice..  
“Hey.. just-- come on, i'll carry you.. We need to get you to a hospital” kaito said, ouma trembled and sniffled but didn't fight back as kaito picked him up, fixing the jacket around ouma to hide his fragile body…

It was a painfully long ride there but kaito drove ouma to the hospital as fast as he could-- and was now anxiously waiting for someone to tell him ouma was gonna be okay---

“Momota correct? You brought the patient kokichi ouma in if i'm not mistaken, right?” the nurse asked..  
“Y--yes i did! Is..is he okay?” kaito sputtered, it was late, it was morning already, almost 6..  
“Yes, he's currently resting, we need you to fill this out for him, you may visit him in his room at 427 down the hall, but please be quiet as he's still a bit unstable and needs to rest. We found drugs in his system so he may be out of it” the nurse said, handing kaito the clipboard..  
“Y..yes thank you..” he sighed…  
“Please turn in this paper at the front desk once you are complete” the nurse said before turning to walk away--  
“Ah wait-- can..uh.. Am i allowed to stay the night with him?” kaito asked sheepishly…  
“Yes you may. Have a good day” the nurse nodded before walking off, kaito sighed…  
“Good day…” he muttered before heading to kokichis room… he gently opened the door and peaked in… he was sleeping…  
Kaito sighed and closed the door behind him, sitting in the chair by his bed… he pulled out his phone and texted shuichi…

‘So ouma came home but theres some serious bad news and i may not be at school for the next few days, neither will he’  
Sent…

‘Huh? Did something happen?? Is kokichi okay??’ shuichi responded.. Kaito sighed and glanced at ouma, furrowing his brows…  
‘Uh yeah. It's kind of a touchy thing but I'm sure it's a common thing you see in cases uh…’  
Kaito send but hesitated at the next test  
‘He was raped, uh,, he came home a little after we hung up the call and he looked like a mess, the nurses said they found drugs in his system and they're taking DNA tests on the sperm they found on and in him’ kaito send and sighed… setting his phone down.. He looked at ouma with furrowed brows..  
Would he ever come back from this? Seeing ouma so destroyed like that almost crushed kaitos weak heart.. Even if ouma was a little shit nobody deserved this.. Especially not kokichi, he already had enough shit to handle and---  
Kaito was snapped out of his thoughts, he must have spaced out because the groggy “kaito..?” startled him..  
“Ou-kokichi .. are you okay??” he asked worriedly, scooting his chair a bit closer.. Ouma sighed and stared up at the roof…  
“My..um...ass..hurts but y'know.. It's all good..” he laughed quietly… but nothing he tried would stop him from bursting into tears.. Furrowing his brows, he tried to stop himself but he couldn't.. He just laid there and cried…  
“Why.. it's.. It's not fair kaito.. It's not..” he sobbed.. Kaito frowned…  
“I-- i'm sorry ouma-”  
“Shut up..it's not your fault you idiot..it's mine.. I'm so weak..” he sobbed.. Shaking…  
“Y--you're not weak ouma-- they.. Those bastards hurt you! They took advantage of you and and--” kaito felt the lump form in his throat.. Ouma sobbed…  
“It hurts… i don't like this feeling.. I wanna go home..” he whispered, shaking..  
“I-- hey..c'mon.. Youre… youre gonna get out soon just…” 

Nothing in the world could ever prepare kaito for what he heard first.. He knew helping people is what he did but---  
“It's my fault… i deserved it.. I should have been killed too..” he sobbed...

Ch 1 end


	2. Im just trying to help you! (CH 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a painfully long week Oumas discharged from the hospital but...  
> Hes still so tense and well.  
> Kaito gets to learn something new about Ouma, he cant help but feel like its his fault this happened..
> 
> why does he feel so.. useless?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my weak little baby heart is hurting yo, i cant take this much pain even though its my own writing and its mostly me making you guys suffer lmao

“It's my fault… i deserved it.. I should have been killed too..” he sobbed…  
Kaito couldn't help but flinch, he looked at ouma, baffled, scared? Worried..  
“Hey- don't..say things like that-'' kaito tried to speak in a hushed tone as to not scare ouma more than he already is…  
“B-but it's true! I- they should have just killed me! I would rather be dead than---than-” ouma flinched at the sudden hand on his shoulder…  
“Stop that. You don't want to die. You’re angry ouma.. I get it.. I'm angry too.. And I'm gonna kill the assholes that….” he grimaced.. “Did this to you… but stop saying you want to die.. I…” he stopped…  
Ouma was his friend.. I mean of course he's upset, they've been friends since highschool.. So…  
“I hate seeing you like this...just… stop saying you want to die…” kaito sighed… ouma stared at him before looking away…

“What do you know.. You...you're not in my shoes.. So who are you to tell me what i can or can't say-'' he hissed.. His body was shaking…  
“Ouma that's not--” he gently pulled his hand away and sighed..  
Just be patient.. You can't start getting upset, even if ouma get on your nerves you need to think about how he's feeling.. He was just raped damnit!

“Right.. I'm sorry” kaito sighed..  
There was a long pause…  
“When can i go home.. I hate hospitals..” ouma muttered..  
“Oh uh.. I'm not sure.. They're not done running the tests..uh.. They said you may be in here for like..less than a week but..” kaito frowned at the quiet sniffle… ouma curled up on himself, wrapping himself tightly in the thin hospital blanket…  
“Kokichi..” kaito sighed..  
“Shut up.. I'm fine you big idiot..” he sniffled.. Back turned to kaito…  
Kaito looked away…  
“Is there anything I can do for you man..?” he asked quietly.. Not wanting to disturb ouma more than he probably already has..  
“No.. i'm fine…” he muttered.. It hurt kaito to see this.. Sure, maybe he and Ouma were **besties** but they were still friends nonetheless and.. Seeing ouma so devoid of any hope, or happiness, or that usual pep in his step that just kinda made everything around him seem fun and happy… it hurt.. Knowing he might not ever see ouma as happy as he was the night he left…  
“Okay...uh.. It's alright with you i'm gonna be spending the nights here until you’re let out, right..? Or uh, should I ask like shuichi or something..?” kaito asked… he felt tense…  
“You're fine i guess.. I knew you loved me soooo much..” he teased.. But it was obvious he wasn't having fun.. He just…  
Didn't want kaito to feel bad…  
“Right uh.. I've gotta get my things from the house, do you need anything man?” kaito asked…  
“I dont know..” he muttered… kaito sighed…  
“Alright..try to get some rest man.. I'll be back in a--” kaito had stood up to leave but ouma grabbed his arm..  
“Not yet...please…” he sniffled… “I don't wanna be alone in this shithole..” he muttered.. To which kaito sighed and sat back down..  
“I won't, don't worry.. I'm tired anyways..” he huffed… 

Kaito eventually fell asleep beside Oumas bed who was also out like a light… they were both exhausted and…   
Man was this going to be a long process…

The next week went by painfully slow.. Shuichi, kaede rantaro.. Even gonta and miu came to visit ouma..it was stressful but they kept ouma better company than kaito probably could.. Just….  
Eventually ouma was discharged from the hospital and kaito helped ouma to the car… having been in bed most of the time he was kind of weak.. It's fine though, just trust the process kaito..  
Kaito helped ouma in and closed the door before getting in on the drivers side and starting the car..  
“You doing okay..?” kaito asked, buckling himself in and looking at ouma whose hands were planted firmly in his lap…  
“I guess.. It's whatever..” he huffed… kaito sighed…  
“Well uh… is there anything you wanna do..? It's the weekend so-”  
“I'm fine.. Just… lets go home already, i feel nauseous..” he huffed.. Kaito frowned and nodded, starting their drive back home…

It'll be fine, kaito gets it, Oumas upset, of course he is! Just…  
Why does he feel so useless now?

The drive was painfully slow… but eventually they made it back to school dorms and kaito helped ouma out the car, locking the doors and walking ouma to their room… closing the door behind them…  
Ouma said nothing other than flopping onto kaitos bed and hugging kaitos pillow..  
“Ouma thats my bed..” kaito huffed..  
“Mmhm…” he muttered.. Not getting up… his face buried in kaitos pillow…  
“Right uh… are you hungry? I can make something to eat if you need” kaito just brushed it off. Main focus right now: Help ouma feel better. It couldn't be too hard! Ouma’s easy to please!  
“I guess… but i'm fine.. Can I have one of my sodas..?” ouma asked, looking over at kaito..  
“Oh uh yeah..” he smiled awkwardly and walked to their small kitchen and opened the fridge… pulling out one of Oumas grape pantas.. He always needed to restrict ouma from drinking so many of these a day.. But for now… he can be a bit more lenient about it..

He walked out over to ouma and held out the bottle for him..  
“Here you go” he smiled a little, ouma had completely sheathed himself under kaitos blankets and looked from under the covers, taking the bottle almost hesitantly..  
“Thank you…” he muttered..  
“Anytime..” he huffed, walking over to his desk… plopping down in his chair with a sigh..

The very quiet “I'm sorry, Kaito” startled him and he looked at ouma with a frown..  
“Sorry? What for?” He furrowed his brows..  
“I mean like making you deal with all this--this bullshit and and--” kaito cut him off  
“Hey- it's not ‘dealing’ with it. I'm choosing to help you, Ouma. Were friends, aren't we?”  
“Yeah but-”  
“No buts- ouma i wanna help you. It fucking sucks seeing you like this, what kind of friend am i if i cant even help you?” kaito huffed, sitting down besides ouma..”  
“It's not like you can take back what they did to me.. So what's the point, kaito? You're always so positive and i hate it- why can't you ever see the bad side of things and just--”   
“Ouma.”  
“Shut up… you don't understand kaito..”  
“I may not have gone through what you did but don't start me with the ‘see the darkside’ bullshit kokichi! I'm trying to help.. Okay? And i can't help you if you don't cooperate with me..” he lowered his voice..  
“I'm sorry it happened to you and i should have come looking for you faster, i'm sorry i didn't. But the most I can do is help you get better, got it?” kaito huffed..

Ouma sniffled..

“It's not fair to you, asshole.. You're always so happy about everything.. You always make others around you happy and- and now youre wasting all those...good vibes on my stupid self… it's not fair..” ouma sobbed, hiding his face back in kaitos pillow..

“Ouma… it's not a waste. You're my friend too..” he huffed..  
“Yeah but-- i just-- i make everyone angry! I- don't even get how you like me! All i do is cause trouble, i get you hurt, i get shuichi and kaede and amami and miu and gonta hurt and i just-- it's not fair! It's not fair to any of them!” he sobbed… trembling…

“It's not your fault kokichi.. They Are your friends. You know they understand..” kaito sighed..

“I just wish i was better like you….” he sniffled…  
“Like me..?”  
“You're.. Always so righteous and everyone likes you.. Everyone trusts you and they believe in you and support you and i'm just…” he hesitated…  
“I'm just some liar.. I'll never be like you.. I hate you so much…” he sobbed…

So thats why…  
“I'm sorry ouma.. I didn't know…”  
“Shut up… it's not your fault you dumbass….” he sniffled…  
“It's not yours either..”  
“Whatever..”

Kaito sighed..

“I'm gonna help you, i promise.. It's getting a little late so you should sleep..” kaito sighed, getting up off the bed…  
“Right…” he sighed..  
“You can stay in my bed if that's more comfortable as well” he smiled awkwardly…  
“Thank you..” he muttered… eventually he was asleep and kaito sighed, going to his desk and getting back to work…. 

This was gonna be one hell of a ride..


	3. Tears and a little bit of hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next weeks grow stressful for Kaito to the point he breaks down. he wants to be helpful but he feels like nothings working.  
> He refuses to give up on Ouma, he cant, its not fair to him...  
> He can make people happy, right? so why cant he fix him..
> 
> its just not fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOMF MY LITTLE BABY HEART HURTS  
> i hope you guys like tears with your angst  
> also theres mentions of self harm and suicide this chapter sooo have fun crying  
> (i like the taste of your tears <3)

The next week was even more painful, ouma rarely got up from kaitos bed to the point he needed to drag him out and make him shower, even having to wash Oumas hair for him-- he was even reluctant to undress in front of kaito because he “didn't want kaito to see how gross he was”

“Ouma you're not gross, i promise. But you will be if you don't shower!” kaito huffed.. Trying to convince ouma to get into the bath..  
“I don't want to-- i'm gross!”ouma sniffled..

This was also the same day kaito ended up finding out whenever he had to leave for his morning class ouma would cut himself…

Kokichi began to cry more…  
“Hey c'mon.. Don't start crying.. It's not your fault, but you gotta stop that man, you shouldn't hurt yourself” kaito muttered… ouma just sat and cried….

The next week got worse…

Ouma would begin to freak out when anyone or anything touched him, he was jumpy and would have often breakdowns and freakouts whenever kaito tried to get him to bathe or lightly touch him..  
He even hit kaito once during one of his bad freak outs…

His cutting issue worsened.. He tried hiding anything sharp from ouma but he'd always find a new way…

He started getting really sick, he was constantly throwing up or laying in bed, he grew thinner….

Another another week.. And another and….

Kaito came home from his morning class, ouma fast asleep in his own bed… kaito sighed and flopped down on his bed… he felt tired.. He felt… weak.. Empty.. Useless…  
Why couldn't he fix ouma… why wasn't what he was doing helping? Was he not good enough? Was he just, not strong enough…

God.. he felt like crying but he couldn't.. He's not allowed to.. Just like he learned he needed to suck it up and just sit there being pretty..  
Kaito felt his chest tighten.. Why.. why was he so weak… it just...not….

He started crying… he tried to hold it in but it just all slipped out….  
“Damnit..” he sniffled… getting up he trudged away to the bathroom… shutting the door quietly he looked at himself in the mirror… he was miserable.. His hair was a mess, he had bags under his eyes, the usual happiness was completely drained… he slumped down and cried… letting every suppressed feeling out…  
“Stupid.. Stupid..” he muttered angrily to himself.. This is his fault.. It's all his fault, he should have killed himself forever ag------

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door…  
“Momota-chan..? Are you in there..?” Oumas weak voice rang out.. Kaito quickly got up and wiped his face off, stopping all tears and traces of them..  
“Uh.. yeah.. What's up..?” kaito asked….  
“Oh.. i thought i heard you come home.. Sorry, nothing…” ouma muttered.. Eventually the quiet pitter patter of oumas feet walked off.. Leaving kaito alone again…  
Kaito sighed… he slid his jacket off and stared at his arms…  
They were littered in mostly faded self harm scars from years ago… years ago when kaito was suffering…  
Not to say he hasn't always been suffering… he just needed to be there for everyone **but** himself…  
Kaito began to reconsider but.. He shook his head and put his jacket back on…  
“No.. bad, you can't do that… not when ouma need you..” kaito sighed...he fixed himself up to look less miserable and walked out, walking to oumas bed…  
“Hey man..you doing okay?” kaito asked, sitting by oumas legs…  
“I'm kinda hungry.. Can you make me some soup momo-chan..?” oumas voice was weak and tired.. Kaito signed yet smiled..  
“Yeah of course.. Don't get out of bed again please, you really need to rest..” kaito smiled.. Pushing oumas messy greasy bangs out of his face.. He'd have to wash his hair again tonight..

“Riighhht… thank you..” ouma sighed… kaito nodded and got up… he trudged away to the kitchen.. It was obvious he was getting depressed and how badly he wanted to k---

“Kaito. Wait..” ouma called out tiredly… kaito looked over at ouma…  
“Yeah man? Whats up?” he asked, walking back over…

“Am…. am i making you depressed?” ouma looked at kaito with empty, dull eyes.. The question made kaitos heart ache..  
“Not at all! I don't get depressed, c'mon who do you think i am?” kaito rolled his eyes..  
“You're a horrible liar kaito, those eyebags give it away” ouma huffed…  
Kaito glanced away..  
“It's not your fault so don't go blaming yourself, kokichi. It's not fair to you.” he sighed… ruffling oumas hair…  
“It's not fair to you either asshat!” ouma snapped but broke out into a coughing fit to where he whimpered…  
“Aghk---” he winced, kaito felt a bang of worry hit him..  
“Hey! T-take it easy you dumbass..” kaito frowned..  
“What about you.. Aren't you miserable? Give yourself a break you idiot---”  
“I can't just not take care of you! I can't-- leave you like this and and--”  
“Kaito--”  
“It's not fair to you-- i'm such a failure i can't even make you happy and---”  
“Kaito..”  
“I just want you to get better but no matter what i do i cant i cant---” kaito sputtered… he was starting to spiral..  
“Kaito!” ouma shouted, kaito stopped and just slumped down on his knees…  
“I'm sorry kokichi..” he sniffled, planting his face against oumas bed…  
“Jeez.. now i'm the one having to take care of you?” ouma huffed…  
“Look at me you big dumb idiot” ouma sighed.. Kaito looked up…  
“You're tired. Go to sleep. Stop worrying about me. I'll make my own food.. You don't even.. Look like you've been eating.. You look so out of shape and obviously somethings going on” ouma frowned..  
“So stop focusing on my happiness dumbass… it's not fair to you..”  
“When did you start caring about me..” kaito laughed a little… but it was all empty…  
“I've always cared you idiot.. Just cause i dont show it doesn't mean it's there, dumbass..”  
Kaito laughed softer..  
“Thanks.. Didn't know you had it in you” he chuckled, ouma scoffed  
“Heyyy! That's so mean” ouma whined…. Kaito smiled and picked his head up…  
“I'm gonna help you get better.. I promise…”

It's a good thing kaito missed the slight blush that spread over oumas face…

Maybe things would get better.. 

Hopefully.


	4. Bloody water and more hospitals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaito tried everything he could.. he took care of Ouma, he helped him when he needed...  
> months gone by and all Ouma could do was worsen.. he tried everything..   
> he fed him, showered him when he was too weak, he let him cry on his shoulder when he couldn't bear the pain...
> 
> he did everything, anything so....
> 
> why did he do it???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for suicide this chapter,  
> I hope you save those sweet salty tears for my bottle today, ill be collecting in like an hour <3

Well.. That “Hopefully” didn't come true..

Ouma had to start therapy because all he did was get worse, but he was reluctant and scared and he didnt even wanna step foot outside out of fear he'd be hurt…  
They never found the guys who raped ouma.. Which only struck more fear in him…

Kaito tried to do everything he could to get ouma out the house and even had to call shuichi over to try and convince him to go with saihara instead but nothing..

“No! I don't trust those assholes!” ouma shouted, trying to kick kaito away who was trying to calmly approach ouma..

“Ouma-- you have to go! We’re going in with you you know!” kaito huffed, ouma just thrashed around harder…

Eventually kaito had to reschedule.. And sit a very teary eyed kokichi down for a talk..

Apparently ouma doesn't like therapy because of bad past experiences…  
“Ouma we’re gonna be right there, you've gotta face this fear of yours--” kaito huffed..  
“W..we can't help you if you don't let us, kokichi '' shuichi said a little softer…

Ouma just cried more…

Eventually they let ouma rest, kaito sighed.. Standing outside in the slightly breezy evening with shuichi as they talked.. Kaito smoking, letting out a puff of air as he groaned…  
“I'm guessing it's just getting worse..?” shuichi said softly, looking at kaito who sighed..

“No matter what i do i just feel like it's not helping.. I can't just.. Leave him like that y'know.. It's not fair..” kaito huffed…

“You're a good friend for trying so hard.. But don't you think you should give yourself a break?” shuichi asked worriedly…

“No way! I'm kaito momota- i can handle any challenge you know!” he grinned… but even shuichi could see it was forced…  
“Kaito..” shuichi frowned…

“Really man, it's okay.. I can do it on my own, so don't stress yourself..” he chuckled.. Taking another inhale of the cigarette and exhaling, watching the smoke go by…

“Yeah but--” shuichi faltered  
“Really! Dont worry bro, i've got it all covered, okay?” he smiled..  
“I guess.. Just please take a break if you need it.. You can always ask me to take care of ouma if you need some time to breathe..” shuichi smiled…  
“Ill keep that in mind i guess..” he chuckled…

Eventually shuichi went home and kaito made his way upstairs back to his dorm.. Walking in he noticed ouma wasn't in his bed..  
“Huh..? kokichi?” kaito looked around and saw the bathroom light on and the sound of the bath running.. That's… ouma never gets out of bed for showering--- and he just showered him and washed his hair last night so-… he gently shut the door behind him, walking over to the bathroom he gently knocked..  
“Kokichi? You alright in there?” kaito asked.. No response…   
He jiggled the doorknob.. It was locked…  
“H--hey? Kokichi open the door man” kaito felt his stomach churn with worry…

That's when kaito realized the unsettling water that began to leak from under the door…  
That's not good…  
“K-kokichi! Open the door!!” kaito banged on the door harshly… with all his force he broke the handle off the door and shoved it open-- the sight he was met with was even more unsettling….  
The water in the tub was dyed red and oumas wrists were cut up and blood pooling around them, dripping onto the floor that was covered with water…  
“KOKICHI!” he shouted and quickly rushed over, slipping a bit as he pulled ouma out the tub--  
“Nonononononono- st--stay with me damnit!” kaito broke down-- pulling his shirt off...he wrapped it around oumas bleeding arm… grabbing oumas shirt that was sitting on the counter off and wrapping it around his other arm.. Kaito was crying….

Kaito quickly scooped ouma up and grabbed a towel, rushing him out the room to where their beds were, gently laying ouma down he grabbed his phone.. He dialed 911 as he checked for a pulse.. Still there.. Good…

“Ouma-- ouma stay with me damnit--” he sobbed, he held oumas small bloody hand in his.. Not caring if he got blood everywhere…

The operator picked up and kaito frantically explained the situation as he tried to keep ouma as awake as possible.. Conscious but barely holding on…

“K--kokichi c'mon.. Y-you're gonna be okay man i promise you're gonna be okay” he sobbed.. They said they were on their way but kaito wished they'd be faster…

Ouma just let out weak noises in response.. He was too weak for this…  
“Ouma please-- don't-- why.. Why why why why..” he sobbed… trembling.. This isnt fair.. It's not! He has been doing everything he could for kokichi so--so why---

“I--i just want you to get better-- you have to stay alive if i want that to happen!” kaito sputtered out, sobbing.. 

It's all kaitos fault.. He should have said yes to oumas invite- he should have gone out and had fun with him, he should have gone looking for ouma, he should have called the cops- do something-- but--no! It's his fault it's all his fault!

Kaito began spiraling, reminding himself it's his fault this happened.. He could have prevented this- it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his----

Fault…

Kaito was startled out of his thoughts when there was a knock on the door-- kaito quickly scooped ouma up in his towel and opened the door-- it was the paramedics.. Thank god…  
“P--please help him!” he sputtered-- kaito shaking violently.. They took ouma from kaito-- leaving kaito alone as they rushed ouma out…. He slumped down to his knees…

“I failed him…” he sniffled… letting every bit of emotion fall out… his body wracked with sobs and trembles.. Crying, begging… he just wanted to help.. Did he do bad..? It was his fault ouma tried to kill himself, right?? It's his,,, 

It's my fault..


End file.
